A Long and Winding Road
As 2011 began, I remember overhearing a friend say her and the kids were going with her husband on his upcoming business trip. I immediately texted my husband and said, "How about when all this is over, we skip town with the kids?"
He said yes.
However, it was January and we had to survive where life had us at that point until October.
At the time of my last entry on this blog, September 2010, our family was beginning a wild roller coaster ride. Actually, it was more like the funnel ride at a water park, swirling around and around, not knowing when you're going to make that big drop out the bottom. The food our family could eat was changing, the things we had moved for were changing, roles at work were changing, friends were changing, and life was taking a toll on us not only mentally but also physically. I couldn’t bear to write anymore. I didn’t have anything nice to say, so I didn’t say anything at all.
At that time we confirmed one of our kids had a dairy allergy. It was a struggle throughout that first year trying to remove dairy. It wasn't that it was hard to leave out physically, quite honestly, that was the easy part. The hard part was having to convince a child how to eat properly for them, to have them own their allergy, to have them make wise choices when you're not with them, to trust them to not sneak foods they loved and ate for many years before you found out it was slowly poisoning them. That part sucked. That part took several years to conquer. I am thankful that part is over (for the most part) today.
At that time we learned that our small church family would be merging with a larger church family. While this was very exciting and good for our small church, it was emotionally painful in ways I couldn't even understand at the time. The confusion, the unknown, the expectations, the switching around... I honestly didn't know where we would fit in and, at the same time, wanted to make certain we were the ones making the decision for the best place where our family belonged, not simply going where we were told.
At that time there was now a need to sell the IT business. For those who have never been involoved in the sale of a business, it is an incredibly complicated event. It is a very secretive affair, requires intense planning and preparation, and precise execution. And even if one takes the utmost care to provide for everyone involved, some will still choose to be unhappy - to the heartache of all the hard work put forth. I am incredibly proud of the amazing work and dedication I saw my husband put into the sale and thankful for its successful completion.
As 2011 began, the secrecy of everything was taking its toll on me emotionally. Dear, dear friendships I had given so much to were now weakened by my inability to speak openly about what I was going through. Emotionally weak, I checked out of close friendships because of the weight on my shoulders and in the process I hurt so many people I loved. A few of the new relationships that were being thrown upon me were not coming easily for me, either. Though I know it was not their intention at all, my emotional instability at the time made me feel like I was met with cruel judgments instead of comfort. However, in the midst of it all, I am thankful that during this time there were friends, both old and new, who reached out and offered shoulders instead of band-aids and grace instead of two-cents, while I was stuck in a selfish funnel unable to give anything in return.
And, as that new year began, we knew we were out of shape. We got a gym membership, enrolled our boys into a swim team, and got our butts to work. My husband's love of cycling was rekindled and the spring brought with it my his first new bike in over 20 years. My "love" of running was finally possible again and I worked hard to relearn to run a (pathetic) 5K. The boys excelled at swimming and our sweet little girl, well, she was happy to play at the pool as much as we'd let her. I’m thankful for that initial gym membership and how it truly put us on the right path for our health.
"How about when all this is over, we skip town with the kids?"
He said yes.
We had to survive until October.
And little did we know that this was going to be the beginning of a new way of living for our family.
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