I tell you what, I was nervous last year about gardening, but this year, I am more nervous.

This year, we are attempting to make this a real working/producing garden... planting in succession, freezing, canning and storing properly, etc. I am planning all our summer menus around the garden. I am spending as little money as possible this year and at the same time, planning and planting as much as possible.

I must remind everyone, I have a black thumb.

Gardening does not come easy for me. Sans last year's garden, at my house, I have plastic flowers OUTSIDE instead of real ones, oy! I've read 4 gardening books at least 5 times this spring, talked to a dozen fellow gardeners, planned it all out on paper and am so convinced it will not work this year.

Have you ever had those times when, you have done something, it was wonderful, everything clicked just right and you were like, "Yeah, I would totally do that again." Anything really... a parade, a food or drink, a location, an event, etc. Then, you do this thing again, and right from the get-go, everything is off. It didn't start how you hoped or remembered or something funky happened along the way, or an off night for the cook.

That is how I have felt every day at the lot. We got into our lots late, it was raining a ton, the water wasn't turned on, etc. Nothing seems to be working out like I had planned and even though some things are in the ground, nothing is sitting right within me.

Even in the midst of it all though, I know the kids are enjoying the time. I decided to make short quick trips to the garden in the late afternoons where we play a bit, make a big go of it, then play a bit more and go home. We plant only a few things each visit and if attitudes go sour we can quickly get up and go. But when the boys work, they really work, and they are getting good. And when they play, they play hard.

My surprise joy this year has been Miriam. She has been so cheerful and helpful this year. She loves walking to and from the water with me, she holds my hand and talks my ear off the whole trip. She makes up little stories for me or tells me about her day. With the constant talking of her brothers, she has used this time, just her and I, to catch up on the events of the day. It is odd to hear her speak in such complete thoughts, again, because she rarely gets a word in with her brothers. Today, she even made up a song, "I love! my mom and dad! and i love! to obey them! zeke and max! are my best brothers! in the world!"

In any event, I make no promises this year... call me the candidate who sees their loss coming and starts dissing themself early. I don't know what will come of it on a produce side, but on a charater side, for the kids and I, I can already see beautiful fruit coming.