I was blog-hopping on random strangers' blogs, jumping blogs and links faster than their blog trackers could catch me, when I was stopped by a sadly familiar photo. It wasn't that I recognized anyone, it was more that I knew what had happened in the photo I was looking at - a dear mother's newborn who was still born.

It was almost 3 years ago that a dear friend of ours lost her baby girl in the final week of her pregnancy and had to deliver her as a still born.  I remember getting the call and everything about that day.  I immediately grabbed our three and squeezed them tight, refusing to let go. I continued to weep and wail for days as I ached for her and her family. 

Upon seeing this dear mother's photo on her blog my heart broke again... memories of our friend going through the same thing, memories of dear mothers I know who lost their babies due to genetic complications, memories of so many, so many, dear mothers I have known over the years who have miscarried, some of them multiple times.  My first wave of emotion was a broken heart for this dear mother I don't know and all the dear mothers I do know.

My second wave of emotion was remembering the feeling I had when I held our three close in my arms that day as I was in awe of what an absolute miracle birth is - the most absolute, purest sense of thankfulness that I have been given three precious, living children to hold in my arms. 

My third wave of emotion was sadness.  Sadness that I had lost sight recently of that second wave of emotion - the most absolute, purest sense of thankfulness that I have been given three precious, living children to hold in my arms.

Don't misread my words, I love our three and treasure them deeply, more than words can express, but as a stay-at-home mom it seems like our world never stops spinning, it slows down or speeds up, but never stops.  My sadness was God holding the earth still, just for me, to remind what I had recently lost sight of during the hardness in our daily normal grind. 

Just as Jesus always had to explain His parables to His disciples, God had been giving me hints but I totally missed the punchline. For example, watching my husband play basketball at the gym with the boys, I was struck by how much they love each other and what an amazing team they are.  Or as Miriam was bouncing around her gymnastics class, she caught my eyes for a split second, stopped, smiled, waved, and then continued bouncing.  I was struck by how perfect she is for our family and what absolute joy she brings to our lives.  As everything was slowing down, I was struck by how thankful I am for the blessings they are in my life.

But the earth didn't stop then.

The earth stopped after a normal day, a tough day, where the world was spinning fast, things were flying out of orbit, we were wobbling off axis... everything stood still.  The earth stopped as God reminded me that even in the hard, sometimes daunting, daily task of raising our kids to be influential in their generations, I should not get blinded or discouraged by the "hardness" but be reminded that in raising children, the joys and the hardness are both part of the blessings of having children.  When Paul called us to "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say Rejoice," it includes times like these.  With a renewed sense of joy and peace, I have been finding myself rejoicing more than ever, as well as more thankful than ever that God has given us three amazing little people to love completely.  My soul as a mama is truly refreshed.  Praise God!!  :)!

For me, raising kids has always been as much about striving to shape and mold their characters, as it is God using them to shape and mold mine.  God knows we are all exactly what the other ones need. 

Thank you God, for stopping my world, to remind me once again to rejoice in all things and be encouraged for the new days ahead.  Thank you for these three amazing children, they are truly gifts from You, they are perfect for us, as we are perfect for them!