We made it. Late on a Saturday night, we made it home. Tears of joy upon seeing our home. Tears of joy from the surprise sweet signs of "Welcome Home!" and food for dinner and breakfast in our fridge brought by dear friends. Lots of tears.

I never thought we'd see this home again. I mentally prepared to either die or end up settling down in a new home along our journey. But we returned. Almost 11 months to the day I got the bright idea to leave town and my husband said, "Yes." After almost 1.5 years of insanity, I had been pulled out of the seemingly never-ending funnel.  

Our time in CA was far from perfect, there were ridiculous things that happened I can't even write about, but thanks to it all I could talk to God again. I know that may sound weird to some but when I think about where my life was headed before Jesus entered my life and how it was forever changed by the love of God... goodness, I am forever, deeply thankful for His never stopping love while I was spinning out of control.

Our time in CA helped me to see clearly through the bad advice I had been given, both past and present, and it also helped me see all the bad advice I had given over the years. Since our CA return, I have been on a quest to individually apologize to dear, old friends that I know I hurt, judged, mislead, etc, because I was/am an idiot, ignorant, and misguided. It has been a painful process and I am so thankful for the grace and forgiveness they have shown me so far. 

I am three years into doing this and I still need to come face to face with a few more people. I am reminded of the Seinfeld when a guy is doing his 12 step AA program and didn't apologize to George, though George thought he was owed an apology. If I owe you an apology and I don't do it, please tell me. I take full responsibility. I am certain I hurt more people than I realize. I would love to make things right.

Our time in CA was genuinely a time for our family to heal. Kids can tell when their parents are going through struggles and it impacts them emotionally, too. Because we spend so much time together, our kids are scarily perceptive of my emotions specifically. They usually join forces and take great pains to ease my load and encourage me. It is truly humbling yet a blessing to have your children minister to your soul. Thanks to our bonding time out west and back, we were once again closer in our relationships to one another, especially for Josh and the kids spending extended time together. And Josh and I were able to were able to think and talk through things as "just us." We were now ready to begin the process of finding a place for our family to fit in, helping our children find kids to grow with, helping us meet new people, and figuring out how we can be a part of our community.

Our time in CA left me my heaviest I've ever been. That was unfortunate. It wouldn't be until after Thanksgiving that I finally started back at the gym doing fitness classes, attempting to run, and getting my 30 Day Shred on. Carving out time to get back in shape was restorative thanks to the beauty of the positive influence of exercise induced endorphins, as well as, that I was able to listen to my favorite podcast, where, it seemed at the time, each one was catered to build upon things I had been learning throughout the previous months.

We had made it. We were all prepared to tackle the new challenges life would throw at us with renewed hearts and minds. We were all excited to see where our next big adventure would take us. We were not dead, yet. 

ONTO THE NEXT ADVENTURE...