Travel Log: 15 October 2011

For the previous six months, Josh had been loving his new BMC road bike and he was incredibly excited to experience California on two wheels. Thanks to the time zone difference between IA and CA, Josh could generally work until 3PM PST / 5PM CST and then go for a beautiful bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge, northeast to either Sausalito or Mill Valley, and still be home in time for dinner. Now it was the weekend and he was able to go on a nice long ride northeast of the city, into the mountains, and along the Pacific Ocean.

We planned it out so that the kids and I would drive to a secret little surf town north of the city and play in the ocean while Josh rode his bike the long, hilly, windy way there. However, when we got there the tide was in and the beach had disappeared. Unless you had a surfboard, you were out of luck. We opted to head back down the coast to Stinson Beach and enjoy our ocean time there.

Even in the cloudy weather, even with the cold breezes, even though the water was really cold, even with NOT bringing any towels, even though I was fully clothed in many layers while they were in their swimsuits... the kids loved playing in the Pacific Ocean. They quickly made friends with other kids at the beach and enjoyed burying themselves in the sand and playing on a new friend's boogie board.

At the end of our beach time, I did something stupid. Well, two things stupid. The first stupid thing was not bringing towels with us, or even a blanket. It was not entirely my "fault" since when you're renting someone else's house that only has white bath towels, even if I had brought them, it would have been rude to our host to destroy them at the beach. 

The second stupid thing I did that was my fault was I completely embarassed my daughter. We were using the outdoor, COLD showers and had no towels to help clean or dry. Due to the coldness of the situation, I was quickly and desperately trying to wash off the sticky sand that was stuck to her like tape residue. At that moment, I was only thinking about the sticky sand and not the embarassment of having your mom start to strip you down in public. 

While in actuallity no one saw anything, I stopped due to the immediate shock and horror-filled look on her face at that moment. That look has stuck with me to this day as it was the first time I could see my daughter as a young woman. (Yes, at 6 years of age.) Looking back on that memory I can see how part of her personality has always been being consciously modest. I would like to credit us for raising her that way, but this truly was / is inherent within her. In my moment of stupidity I grossly offended her sense of self. I should have known better. I should have known her better.

However, that moment and other similar situations over the upcoming year, were the start of deeper, more beautiful things in my / our relationships individually with each one of the kids, to truly get to know each one of them better. There were many previous years of fog that if it wasn't because of the last year's funnel, it was because of the years of undiagnosed allergy, or because of the years of lack of sleep due to newborns, or the insanity of trying to do too much, etc, that made things cloudy. I wish I would have "woken up" earlier, but for a long stretch I felt like I was simply trying to keep us all alive. Now, now I could see clearly, it was another "second" chance to seek forgiveness, to accept grace, to build stronger relationships, to strengthen our family. Oh, what a gift second chances are!

We spent the afternoon letting the kids experience the beauty of the Muir Woods National Monument. By the time we got home late for dinner it had been another long but rewarding day in its many life's lessons and blessings.  

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